Thursday, December 27, 2007

for all who are hurting....

My heart is heavy right now for all those who are hurting this holiday season, especially for women!! Usually the focus during the holidays is on love, peace and joy...these are happy times filled with family and laughter, right? Not always the case.....
Often the holidays can evoke deep and painful emotion for those who are fighting for their joy, for those who are finding it hard to fight for hope.....I mean after all we should be happy, it's time to celebrate Christ! But what if everything in your life leads to sorrow and pain, fear and grief......what if it all drowns out any joy you might be able to experience, because your pain runs so deep it feels like it could take over your life.....hope seems hopeless to you anymore and you just want to crawl under your covers and never climb out.....!!
A year ago, during the holidays, I was in a dark place in my life.....I was exhausted, mentally, spiritually and physically....pregnant with my fourth child, house on the market, then off the market, longing to move back to my hometown, my marriage a complete mess, no joy AT ALL, we didn't even put up a Christmas tree....there had been a storm brewing for some number of years and I finally was at a point where I honestly felt I couldn't take another moment!!! I lived in fear, fear that began to consume my thoughts.....every night I would crawl in bed brokenhearted and desperate, longing for the morning to come, for the fresh mercy of God's faithfulness to be mine to claim. I felt like no one could understand my sorrow, no one could relate to my specific pain and certainly no amount of words from anyone seemed to help at all. Faithful few loved me where I was at, yet so many just seemed to say, "just pull yourself together, and trust God." In my heart I was crying out to God, "Lord, I can't go on like this, I can't do it any longer.....I know you are bigger than all of this I know you can set me free from this...please Lord you have to do something!!! I am crushed in my spirit, how much longer do I have to bear this?!!!" I couldn't accept the hand I had been dealt, I couldn't believe that life could go on like it was any more!! I won't go into the details here....however.....my situation seemed so bleak, but I held onto the tiniest threads of faith and hope, I clung to them with all my heart, I knew my God could save me from this misery, but I had gotten to the point of despair.....

I share all this because I know there are women out there in marriages and situations that seem bleak....women who know in their heads there is hope for freedom, but in their hearts they are sick from hope and no relief....when will MY help come, is their cry....when will I laugh again, when will I dance for joy again?!!

I just want to say to you, the Lord does hear your cries, He hears you and weeps with You, His heart aches for you and with you, He longs to be gracious to you and deliver you from your sorrow -He loves you so much, He longs to heal your broken heart and bind your wounds......and set you free from your oppressors...he wants to lift you out of the muck and mire and set your feet on solid ground....I spent much time in the Psalms, they were a comfort to me...David was a great man of God, he spent much of his life fighting for His joy in the Lord......Do not give up!! Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength....they will mount up with wings like eagles.....do not think that God is not with you, He is with you, He is for you....He wants to wipe away all your tears.....He wants to turn your mourning into dancing....and He Will, I believe it with all my heart.....He has begun to restore the years the locusts have eaten....he has made known to me the path of life and I have found Great JOY in Him!! My prayers are with you, and my spirit groans within me for all those who are crying on their pillows and fighting for their joy to be restored! Do not lose heart sisters in Christ......you have much HOPE in the ONE who has given you life and freedom in Him, you are in the shadow of His wings, you are the apple of His eye, a princess with a rich inheritance.......His arms are open to you, Run to Him....!! May God refresh you with his waves of love, grace and mercy this holiday season!!!

2 comments:

Ellie said...

Just so you know, I read this on Thursday, Lydia, and I couldn't comment at the time because my heart was in such turmoil. I keep coming back and reading it again and again. Guess I should copy it down, huh? :D
I just wanted you to know that your time spent writing this post was appreciated! :)

lydia joy said...

Thanks Ellie, I am glad this benefitted you....I hope you are finding your way out of turmoil.....God is a God of Love, peace and joy...and healing, he will bring you out of your angst...I know He will!!