This morning I listened to yet another inspiring message by Rob Rufus, that just confirmed and encouraged in my heart so many things. One of my greatest desires of late is to truly experience God in a real meaningful and tangible way. I long to meet with Him and be filled with some sense of His love, and His heart for me. I also long to get to know the Holy Spirit better, I believe I have truly quenched and grieved him in my life over the years and for that I am truly sorry. But I repent of that and no longer want to be afraid or critical of Him coming and moving in my life. The Bible says, not to be drunk with wine, but with the Holy Spirit. I want to experience this! I want this because it is available to me, and because I want to be encouraged in the Lord and I want it to pour forth out of my life into others lives! Currently I have only had a buzz here and there, in the Spirit, no full out drunkenness. But that's okay, I will take what I can get! Every time I experience a little outpouring, it blesses me. It gives rise to my heart and makes me hungry for more! I thank God that he is revealing himself more and more to me. That he is stripping me of a legalistic mentality and helping me to relinquish control over my life and more and more submit it to His will. I am aware that there is more, that God has for me, and am eager for it, but I know this will come in time as I pursue Him. I don't want to settle for the little that I have now, although I am grateful for it, I want to be expectant and hopeful for more of the supernatural things of God becoming active and vibrant in my life!!!
I believe that the Lord looks at me, as I would see my young 9 month old, and is thrilled for every new developement and every new word he says - God is also thrilled when we step out in faith and hope for all that we can grow in - in Him!!! Every baby step, every baby step, he is delighted in!