Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Fixin' my eyes...........

Life has been all consuming of late. My mind is bogged down with worries and concerns. I am wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders. Weary, oh so weary. I wrestle with big decisions and battered emotions. I long to rest in His peace and freedom. But my circumstances try to veer me down the path of unrest, unease. I become anxious and I 'let' my heart get troubled. Dang it. I know better than that. I know that my peace and my rest is only found in Him, and I am in Him, and He is in me. Only He can carry the load I so often try to shoulder. Only He is sufficient enough for me, and only He can carry me through life's storms. I must look straight into His eyes, or else I will falter and the waves of life will crash over me and consume me. 
His eyes. So full of compassion. So full of endless love, able to consume in one glance. Why would I ever want to look away? His eyes are the safest place in the world. They are my refuge and my solace. 
For too long now,  I have shifted my gaze and let the waves and the storm distract me. And to be honest, it's exhausting. Jesus told me, that his yoke is easy, his burden is light. He told me to rest in Him. He told me, His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect through my weakness. Am I trying to be strong? Am I trying to carry my own burdens, when he asked me to cast them upon him? 
Why do I find myself wrestling with all of this over and over? Why do I let the enemy deceive me time and time again? And why do I think some how I can do anything apart from him? 
Jesus only did what He saw the Father doing. He had to be still and listen to His voice. He was fixed on His Father's eyes. He was committed, full of trust, loyal, obedient, faithful. He wants to be all of that for me, and in me. He can do it. I cannot. 
Today, I finally remembered my gaze has not been fixed. My only hope, my only source and strength is in MY JESUS. Today, I choose to let go, releasing all my cares to Him. Not letting my circumstances dictate reality, but letting JESUS be my reality. He is my all in all. He is the TRUTH. I want truth to dictate my reality. Jesus, I surrender and I choose to look to you today. I know you will keep me, and I know by looking to you I can walk through these troubled waters. 

6 comments:

Jamie said...

Sounds like someone who is more than a conqueror because they know who already did the conquering and that they can REST in that truth! Good words, Lyds. Take off your boxing gloves and step out of the ring. Do not become engaged in your circumstances or try to corral your emotions. Let Jesus fix your gaze and affections on Him.

Rich said...

Lyd,

Isn't it a solace knowing, and that is an ever growing knowing, His gaze upon us is all that matters. It frees us from so much effort on our end...wow learning to simply let go and realize His firm but tender hold on me is most secure!

Alan Hiu said...

Hi Lydia,

Sometimes I found myself falling into that trap as well...

Then I come to realized that, I actually have the character of Martha and Mary in me... i.e. my flesh and my spirit man respectively. It is so natural that whenever I took my eyes off Jesus, Martha is in control. I need to be reminded over and over again that Mary (my spirit man) will choose the good part, which will not be taken from me.

Look up Lydia, The Lord has created beautiful pictures in the sky everyday just for us to behold! When we behold our head is up...!

Peace and grace...

silent wings said...

Hugs dear friend, I am all too familiar with this battle...but how great our Father's love for us, how tenderly he pulls us in and draws our gaze to His eyes...

I appreciate the words of our friends above. We are all in this together.

lydia said...

Thank you all, my kind friends for your words of encouragement, grace and love! I am SO blessed!!!

jul said...

Lots of love! I'm at my Mom's this week working and her internet is out, so if you don't hear much from me you know why, but I'll be praying for you...