Sunday, October 25, 2009

Reflections in the midst...........

Here I sit in the midst of a lot of muck. I most certainly am not stuck in the muck, for I know I have a Father who will take care of me. Yet I am amidst a plethora of ridiculous circumstances that are trying to consume me. It's as if all of hell is trying to take me down. Not loving that! It's hard not to feel the overwhelmingness of it all, I must admit. Add in PMS, a stolen car, plumbing problems, a loved one deceased and massive financial issues, and much more -  well you get the picture. The worst part of it all is the words and actions of one who relentlessly torments me, all in the name of love. Nice!
Dark massive clouds are looming over me. Yesterday, all I could see were the dark clouds and I felt low and weary. Condemnation was trying to reel me into a place I did not want to be. How dare it try and touch my heart and mind - there is no condemnation for me. NONE! 
But despite the fact that all I see and feel in the natural is trial and challenge, I can still remain in peace. I may not always act on that peace. I have to talk to myself and remind me of who I am and whose I am, and just who it is that is keeping me. Renew my mind and remember how faithful my daddy is and how he has always always delivered me. I may want to despair, or lean on my own understanding, but His spirit within me speaks the soft reminders, "I am carrying you, I am with you, I will prevail, I have good plans for you to prosper you and not to harm you, you are precious to me, you matter immensely and no weapon formed against you will prosper, anyone who takes up a sword against you will have to deal with ME!!" 
He never judges me, or condemns me with His words or His actions. He never points out my faults or makes me feel like I can't come boldly to Him. Nothing will separate me from Him. Our relationship is ROCK SOLID. Thanks to who He is, I can confidently live in a peace that passes all understanding. He guards my life, my heart, my mind, my soul, for I am in Christ and He is in me. My feelings, though they can seem all consuming, do not lead or drive me - it is Christ as my source, my life, my all that guides me safely through this life of difficulty. Yeah though I walk THROUGH  the valley, I shall fear no evil. I take comfort that I am walking through. He is leading me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. He continues to remain faithful even if and when I may want to become despondent and despair and give up. He leads me into ALL TRUTH. I just love that! How refreshingly wonderful it is to have at least one perfect relationship in this life - well at least His side of the relationship will never fail, and I can always depend on Him. ALWAYS!!! Wow! What a relief! And all of this is of Him. Not me or what I do. How good is that? I can seemingly fail, but yet not fail, because I have the perfect righteousness of Christ. That IS love. 
Imagine a  human relationship, where even when you do something to your spouse that is not so great, he says, "I find no fault in you. You are never wrong. You are perfect."  Even if you get good and mad at him, and scream obscenities at him, he will say, "I love you dearly, here come close and let me love on you for awhile." 
My how that softens ones heart. Once I again I am amazed at His great love for me, simply by how He responds to me. Even though my circumstances are still swirling about, I can rest in His arms knowing such peace, such comfort. Truly there is no greater love than this!!! 

14 comments:

Phil said...

Came at the right time for me,that did. Thanks.

sparrow girl said...

Lydia,

You described so well what seems to be the daily life of grace believers! At least my life! The crazy circumstances, failures, feelings of condemnation, yet Life coming through and God continuing to whisper in our ear "you're perfect, I love you so.."

I hope your situation will be looking up soon....

Jamie said...

I could only think of the song "Peace Speaker" when I read this, Lyds. We know the Peace Speaker and we, TOO, can speak to the storm & waves!

His name is Faithful & True!!

Love you.

The Lewis Family said...

Oh the glory of the chaos. I have experience my own unique versions of the insanity you are going through and I have to say that in the midst of it all isn't it kinda exciting?! I am serious. It's like, wow, something is happening. I know that when there is opposition (that includes waste and meaness from those close to you) that there is a certain shifting and stirring in the spirit and it is manifesting in the physical. That means something is happening. It's like a bunch a hard knocks before the egg cracks open and new life emerges from its shell. All I can really say is be excited. There are cool things emerging. God's up to something yet again!

Much love to you - B

silent wings said...

(((hugs my friend)))

praying for you

lydia said...

Welcome Phil!!

Thanks Sparrow!

Jamie, can't say I know that song. I am too tired to speak to the dang waves and storm - pray for me!

Bec, I hear what you are saying - can't say I am excited at the moment, pretty daggone beat - I do know I will get through, and I look forward to what the view will look like!! Until then.........

Thanks Cirra - much appreciated and needed!!!

The Lewis Family said...

Yep, gotcha!

lydia said...

Boy do I have an enemy that hates me! It's getting worse folks........I need you all, please pray - today especially!!!! Thx........

Phil said...

Is the person who's bothering you internet based? Can I get them off your back?

If I was in a position to help you all out financially, I would.

lydia said...

Nah, but thanks you are too kind!!

sparrow girl said...

Lydia,

Though we've never met, I love you as my sister in Jesus and will pray for you! He carries you...

lydia said...

Aw, Sparrow thank you for your kind words, I love having so many sisters in Christ, and I love how we can love each other despite the fact we've never met - His love compels us for sure! Thanks for your prayers, by the end of the day I felt much more at peace and am looking forward to tomorrow's new mercies..............peace to you!!!

Sheila said...

Ah, Lyds. The rich have no real adventure, because they can "make their own" adventures. (GK Chesterton said that...) Chesterton also said, "To be in a romance is to be in uncongenial surroundings". God is telling a story through your life - I've read the back of the book, too. YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!

You are just the cutest thing. I love your FB profile pic.

lydia said...

Aw shucks..........(how do you make a fluttery eyed smiley?)
Thank you wise Sheila - I love stories that end that way - YAY GOD!!!!!
(by the way, I love the latest pic of you and your sons on your blog - that will be me in a few years, young men at my side - wow!! ya'll are gorgeous!!!)