Saturday, October 20, 2007

I never knew I had a voice.....

I hate conformity, yes hate, is that too strong....isn't comformity like passivity, doesn't God hate passivity, after all he says he hates lukewarmness, he would rather we were hot or cold!!
All my life I have felt out of place, never fitting in here or there, trying to be somebody I am not, because there was always a "model" of what you should try to be like, whether it be at school, or in church life... This may not have ever been something outrightly stated, however, you were praised or applauded or looked up to if you met certain standards, or if you were a high achiever, or good at everything you put your hands to. But what about those who didn't get applauded, ever...instead they were made to feel unworthy because they couldn't measure up to that standard...... I have always been someone trying to fit in somewhere, but never could!
Now I know that conforming to what other people think you should be or think is good, normal, trendy, traditional, acceptable, etc.... is not necessary, nor is it better, nor is it freedom to be who God made you to be!! If I really thought about it I have known this all along, but the fear of man, and desire for acceptance and approval spoke louder to me than anything. Even the critiques given to me, or the "you should" statements, drowned out any chance for me to be free to speak up for myself.
Thankfully, God had an awesome plan for me, he rescued me from drowning in conformity and told me he loves ME, and he made ME just the way I am and wants ME to be free to be exactly who I am in Him and for Him!! His complete acceptance of me has set me free to speak up and say things I may never have said before, because I was afraid of what people might think of me! Now I am less and less afraid to be wrong or criticized or looked down upon, because I know God will always accept me and have wonderful thoughts about me!! Oh, and still love me even if I mess up, or royally screw up!!
God is so creative, he made us all unique, every one of us!! We could never even begin to be just like someone else, it wasn't his intent. He knit us perfectly together in our mother's womb! He made us and saw that what he made was good! Very Good!!


Joel B. said...

You have no clue how closely I relate to all of this! Conformity will never, ever help us to live the life that God created us to live. I lived inside the conformity box for quite a long time, and kept God in there with me, and it almost ruined my marriage! It's quite a joy to have broken out of that box, and to be growing more and more in the freedom I have in Christ.

To show you just how closely this post speaks to my heart, here are three of my posts from earlier this year, if you're interested. All three of them are based upon a certain song that I believe speaks volumes about the cry of people to be free. The first post is somewhat lengthy, but it's the main one that describes my story of how I finally broke free. The second two posts are shorter, but in re-reading them just now, I actually encouraged myself in my walk of freedom! I don't mean that in an egotistical way, but in a way that means that I hope others are encouraged as well.

Kings of the Wild Frontier

A New Royal Family, a Wild Nobility

Down Below Those Dandy Clothes

Joel B. said...

Also, my prayer for you as you continue in the wonderful grace of God, and in sharing it boldly with others, is the same prayer that Paul asked for himself:

Eph 6:19-20 "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will boldly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should."

And I'm reminded of Acts 4:13.

"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus."

lydia said...

Thanks again for sharing your heart and thoughts, it's very encouraging! As well as the Scriptures, ...I will check out your posts most definetly...Thanks!

lydia said...

Lydia, I think this is a wonderful post. I am proud of you and am impressed by your ability to articulate these things. I still think you should conform to the standards of my mother, however, and cook me a nice hot breakfast every morning -HA HA! -your husband