Monday, December 17, 2007

Up all night.....

Does that mean I can sleep all day???? Aah, sounds good in theory, but the reality is I have little ones depending on me. Poor dears, they are depending on someone who does not have sufficient strength for each day...! I will never be able to, in my own strength, in my flesh, give them all they need and deserve.....This makes me all the more grateful that God does not expect me to get it all right....and not only that, He gives me all that I need in Him, He is my all in all...He has given me so much more than that which human eyes and minds can see and understand.....I stand secure and accepted, no matter what I can do or accomplish as a mom ...if all I can do is barely survive this day,by sitting on the couch and doing nothing but make sure my kiddos are alive and fed, because I am literally drained and entirely exhausted of all and any physical strength.....well, that's okay..no guilt in life, right...for those who are in Christ, no condemnation, ever!! I still have to talk myself out of the temptation to feel guilty for not "doing" more on a day to day basis....years of wrong thinking, you know I even read one time, someone actually believed they were in sin for leaving the dirty dishes in the sink.....I almost bought it for a few seconds.....no thank you! Imagine the guilt she felt daily....no thank you! But still even though that is extreme, it's a temptation for me to put pressure on myself to get it all together..or to make it seem like I have it all together. Why not just be honest and say "I, honestly, am a mess....I can't always get it together, for whatever reasons and that's okay...not saying I want to be a bum, I certainly do not...but sometimes, honestly I just have to sit and do nothing......scary...but I have to be okay with this, and ask God to give me strength for each day to do what he wants me to....and you know God is so kind, he meets us where we are at, he knows our frame....."
May God encourage you today as you order your day, seek Him to order it for you, and relax when his agenda for you is to simply rest and rely on Him!

5 comments:

Bino B. Manjasseril said...

As a Dad of two small kids (3.5 years and 1.5 years) I can relate to what you are saying. With a 'perfectionist' spirit I stepped in to the fatherhood and there was only one thing waiting for me- disappointment! I thought I can do everything perfect and when I couldn't I was miserable. Now with the God given insight in to the grace of God, though things are imperfect I have much more peace.
Now I know it is okay to ignore the sink with dirty dishes. It is okay to ignore the bath tub with crayons and wet toys.
Now I know getting 2-3 hours straight sleep is a 'blessing'. And if you don't believe me, ask my wife! Yes, I still get irritated, angry and desperate many times a day. But as 'spiritual kids' we need His grace, the same way our kids needs our 'grace' because they depend on us, we are their life, they live in faith in us.

Daelon said...

We gotta fight the condemnation! Sometimes I feel so weak and I want to UNDERSTAND and FEEL the truth. But in these moments when we feel condemned and cannot see the truth of God's grace in Jesus Christ, we need to take it by faith. The darkness always lifts eventually.

jul said...

Many hours have a spent reclining upon my couch...wish I had been able to spend as many reclining upon my bed...

Ellie said...

What good timing you have, Lydia! :D

I'm not feeling too good today and I can really relate to the comforting words that you shared. Thank you!

Grace said...

I have just spent time with my sister and her 2 month old baby boy. And what an amazing little boy he is.
Still, I salute all parents. I got tired just watching all the going on's
I have no idea how a single mother copes.

Thank God all His demands were satisfied by our wonderful saviour.

I pray God's strength, patience, rest and peace over all you parents.