I must make a confession. I don't get grace! I just don't get it. My natural bent is toward, what is my part, what do I have to do? How then must I live? Ugh! I have found of late that I am battling with confusion and I don't like it. I want to live in pure grace, but I confess I don't even know what that really looks like! I have too many arguments swirling around in my head and too many old voices shouting at me.
This morning I was reminded of several truths, and have decided to camp around them for awhile, and not try to learn anything new. One of my favorite verses is Galatians 2:20; "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
I have an indwelling Christ, alive in me!! Wow, that's comforting! I also love Colossians 1:27; ".......Christ in you, the hope of glory" - this is my only hope of experiencing the glory God has for my life!!
Christ lives in me, He manifests His life through me and accomplishes His purposes through me! I am just the vessel He chooses to use. God chooses to use me to display His glory!!
I think I am just used to living externally, rather than internally. I am used to doing and not being. I just want to learn to live from the truth of Christ lives in me! CHRIST LIVES IN ME!! That is amazing! I can't live the Christian life myself. That's because Christ wants to live it through me!! He has given me His robes of righteousness and I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! (2 Cor. 5:21) This is amazing......but I still ask, How do I live the life, the Christian life? I still ask that question!
I can't live it, I simply can't!! Here is the other thing I ask and want to know, how do I grow in Christ? What do I do? I don't understand how to differentiate between the fact that I am 100% perfect forever in the unseen realm, I am seated in heavenly places and I am complete and whole, in spirit, soul and body in that realm. However, in this seen earthly realm my condition does not match up to my position. I have needs and my state is not in alignment with my status. So how do I understand or carry on living and understanding the distinction between the unseen realm where I am already perfect and this realm where I am obviously not perfect. I don't want to try to become something I already am, but I also don't want to remain as I am as seen on the earth. Does that make sense?
This is my dilemma of late, and I dont' like it. It's wearing on me. I just want to rest in Him and live by faith in the eternal realm. I want to live seeing what God is doing, like Jesus did. Jesus lived on the earth, but didn't live out of this realm, He lived out of the heavenly realm.
I dont' want to focus on my performance or my part. I know God accepts me fully because I am in Christ. So what's my problem? I need to constantly renew my mind, get reprogrammed in a sense. I see so many other Christians trying to figure out this Christian life, trying to be more disciplined. I see this happening, and think I need to do it too. I guess I am still trying to conform, still trying to somehow fit in by man's terms. I think I am still trying to get rid of my old man that was already crucified with Christ and somehow hoping by my cooperation I can get the new to come into actuality more quickly. I mean do I even need to wrestle with my flesh! If I am dead to sin and alive to Christ, what is this war I am waging in my mind all about?
Well, this is where I currently live. This is my true heart folks! I will leave off with some more Scriptures and pray that by my next post I am recharged in HIM!!
Colossians 2:10; Colossians 1:22;1 Corinthians 2:10, 12, 14; Colossians 3:12;Romans 6:6-7; Ezekiel 36:26-27; Ephesians 4:24
Much grace and peace in our Lord Jesus Christ to all who read here today!!!