He restores my soul..............

(Do you ever just want to write a post, but are not sure quite what it will be about? Or that what you write may not have any relevance to anything, but yet you just want to write anyway? That's how I am feeling today, I just want to express myself in some form or fashion, so here goes.) 

After my terrible horrible no good very bad day on Tuesday after an accumulation of trials and difficulties from the previous week, and then on Wednesday finding out my son probably had the swine flu (eh hem, that would be the N1H1 flu/virus - oh whatever), things started to shift in the heavenlies. I won't go into all the details, BUT God's kind hand of provision has faithfully been shown to me yet again. Not once, but twice, as if the first means he brought along wasn't wonderful enough (think financially rescued for a whole month), he met yet a second need. You see I am in a pickle these days, and just yesterday, I had $30 for food to last me and four boys for 10 days. That certainly wasn't going to work. WELL, I am happy to say, God sent a lovely gift to me last night. A knock on the door and a lovely gift card to my favorite local market, Trader Joe's. How perfectly cool was that? Double provision. I was quite tickled I must say. So I found myself saying, bring it on!! Ha ha, when days prior I was laughing at all the calamity in my life, saying bring it on! Hee hee, God is too good like that. He loves to show me that He's got me covered.  More than just covered actually, he has me so that I have not any want. Think about that! I am not in want - if only I could live in that and if only my emotions would let me believe this! 

Much like the psalmist writes in Psalm 23 - I feel as though I have lived in that Psalm this very week. And I now really can see that I have no want in Him. I love that! I was weary this week and He came and showed me the reality of the truth of this very Psalm. 

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

       he leads me beside quiet waters,

 ³ he restores my soul. 

       He guides me in paths of righteousness 

       for his name's sake.

 ⁴ Even though I walk 

       through the valley of the shadow of death, 

       I will fear no evil, 

       for you are with me; 

       your rod and your staff, 

       they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me 

       in the presence of my enemies. 

       You anoint my head with oil; 

       my cup overflows.

 ⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me 

       all the days of my life, 

       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD 

       forever.

It's so cool how the word is like a diamond, and when you look at it again and again you see it in a different light.  Well just this morning I was again thinking about how I have been walking through the valley of the shadow of death, more like a valley with dark clouds all around me and no light coming through. I know I said this before, but I really do take great comfort that I am walking through, and that He is ever with me. It's like I really can face everything that comes my way, I really don't have to fear. I can rest in the midst of the difficulties. I really can. I may grow tired and weary and 'feel' overwhelmed, but know in my spirit I am in wonderful hands no matter what.  

I always used to think of the 'rod' as a implement to inflict pain. However the shepherd's rod is used to protect the sheep, not inflict pain. How does having pain inflicted comfort one?? Anyway, I realized today, as I contemplated this Psalm, and light bulbs came on and a much richer fuller depth of meaning and impact came over me - the rod was used to protect and guide the sheep. The Hebrew word for rod that is used is "shabat." A shabat is specifically the rod used by a shepherd in caring for sheep. The shabat has five common practical uses: 1) it is the symbol of the shepherd's guardianship of the sheep; 2) it can be thrown with great accuracy just beyond the wandering sheep to send the animal scurrying back to the flock; 3) the shabat can be used to ward off an intruder and protect the sheep from any animals which may attack; 4) the sheep are counted as they "pass under the rod;" 5) it is used to part the wool in order to examine the sheep for disease, wounds or defects which may be treated. There is no evidence that the rod is ever used to physically strike the sheep. That lines up with the God I now know. The God of comfort. Yes, that comforts me to know. Okay, so not only is He with me, He is armed and ready to protect me. I love knowing that. Sometimes, I feel so separate from Him in a way I don't know His ways and what He will do. But I am never separated from Him, never! He always goes after His sheep to keep them safe and cared for. 

I also thought about how cool it is, that He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies. I may have opposition in my life in various forms, but He is saying to me, here come and sit and rest and let me serve you a feast. He is not phased one bit by my enemies. 

I know what it is like when he makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters, because truly he has restored my soul time and time again. But listen to the next line,I just can't get over this -  "He leads me in paths of righteousness, for His name's sake."  He leads me!! Just like we know that the Holy Spirit leads us into all truth! Even the psalmist knew this truth and he lived in the O.C.  I just love the theme of this whole psalm!! He initiates, He blesses, He protects, He comforts - He does it all! We have everything!! 

I am grateful for the reminder the Spirit brought to my heart, that I really have goodness and love on my side all the days of my life! I really can trust that my Good Shepherd and Daddy will care for me in every area of my life and abundantly so. I am grateful that he restored my soul today!!!

Faithful in the little things....

I have noticed a pattern in my spiritual journey. (How profound...)

When God is trying to teach me something or show me something, it seems that the message He sends me comes over and over, various different ways, until I finally say, Oh God you are trying to teach me something....and then I get the chance to walk it out.....it may not always be a lesson that He wants me to actually "do" something, it may just be a truth He wants to teach me....and what I have noticed is when God teaches me truth, or gives me revelation on something, it really sticks, it becomes part of who I am. I love that!

God simply is NOT a harsh taskmaster, he is so gentle, loving and patient. He takes the time to tell us something again and again, in whatever way He does, so we can get it! We are just like sheep that truly need a tender shepherd to guide us, and to find us and bring us back when we are lost! And God knows He's had to do that for me a few times!!! And I know He would patiently do it over and over, if need be. Right now, I am just lovin' His ways of teaching me and it's up to me to listen, and to know His Voice and to respond. I think that's why I am so excited about this revelation, because for so long, I couldn't really hear His Voice. There was so much in the way trying to keep me from Him.....but I am so thankful He faithfully came after me. Now I feel like He has won my heart (again) and captivated me so much more, that I am pretty confident He won't have to come find me again, I don't want to get lost or distant from Him ever again. I don't ever want to be so far away that I can't hear him!!

Lately, I have been learning that it is good to be faithful in the little things. I mean I have heard that before and probably was taught on it at some point over the years, but this time it's directly from the Lord and I am listening. A lot of times I learn better through the path life takes me. I know God is good, He loves me and wants to give me wonderful gifts. All of heaven's resources are at His fingertips and He is my Daddy, so of course I can ask anything of Him. He does bless me and give me things, as well as does miracles on my behalf, but sometimes it doesn't come immediately. I wish it would. Sometimes, I can learn so much more if it is a process. I don't believe God ever wants me to suffer, nor does He cause things like sickness to teach me character. I think He teaches me and grows me up through life's journey.

Right now, Keith and I know we need to one day move again. (we have lived in 6 different homes in our 8 1/2 years of marriage, aah!) We know we are not in our permanent home and that can be very difficult. Our house is small, we have four boys...(does anyone know how wild and noisy boys can be all put together!!! and we homeschool, so it's 24/7 crazy!!!) ...there are things about our living situation that are challenging....that cause us to be impatient, on top of the fact we haven't been settled in ...well, our entire marriage!! So, we long to get our house on the market and find a house and whallah, presto, everything is hunky dorey, peachy keen. Yeah, well that isn't how the world always works, huh? It can be such a struggle a constant nagging, there is so much to get done to get our house ready, but no finances, and to top it off, we are not handy at all and again, we have four crazy boys at our legs.....Okay, so why am I rambling on and on. I keep getting the vision and the dreams for our future and believe and know it's possible and that God will give us a wonderful new home one day, but for now all I can hear is..."Be faithful in the little things, take care of what I have given you...." It has come to me in many forms that whisper, a conversation with a friend, watching another friend being faithful, reading a random blog post elsewhere, and even in my spirit I just hear that faint whisper. It's so sweet of Him to remind me so tenderly, that I just want so desperately to do it. Okay Lord, I will be faithful, even when I don't see the end in sight, just because I love you and want to honor you!!!

I tend to be a dreamer, I often have great vision for things and have a lot of passion! But what I don't often do well is the in between, the nitty gritty...the steps to get me to my dreams!! I have confidence they can come true and I have confidence in God's ability, but I need to learn and grow in the small things.....and God is giving me an opportunity to grow in that right now! And for once, I am actually excited about learning how to be faithful in the little things, because the Lord is renewing me, He's helping me to put on the new me one step at a time!! Thanks for bearing with me in this long drawn out, random thought process, I hope it blesses someone!!